Trains, Busses, and SuV'zzzz..............

Last night a few of us watched "The Shawshank Redemption" at the shelter. (I've still got a month left). It was one of the most moving films I've seen. How a person could endure so much and yet come out so un-jaded by life was inspiring. the message was about hope and how important a trait it is when everything is pointing to exactly the opposite. It's also about kharma--and how everything eventually comes around. (kind of like that song by "Ratt").

This morning, I guess it proved correct. I had just finished doing the windows to compensate for the center across the street doing my laundry, and as I was walking away.....I saw two mexican men sitting on the sidewalk. Thirsty for some orange juice, I asked one of them if they had a dollar or two.....which they reluctantly gave me....well, I felt guilty about it, but not enough to return the money. I figured they would probably tell me to keep it anywaY. So, I went to the donut-line and got my daily 3, and headed for the roach coach outside the Ernst and Young bldg. to buy my much anticipated Mango Nectar. the latin-looking guy at the "meals on wheels" type fast food thing reluctantly (there's that word again) motioned for me to put the dollar on top of the cooler and get my own mango nectar juice thing--which I had no problem with--after all it was only a dollar, and I ended up buying 2 of them---as opposed to one o.j.

Anyway, I went back to the center where all the homeless people hang out during the day because I was going to wait for my laundry...and use their phone to make a few calls, when I spied a magazine with one Angelina Jolie-pitt on the front. Immediately I was drawn to it like I was in some sort of trance...and, indeed, I was, for I no sooner started to pick it up, when a wave of filipino sarcasim invaded me--like a tsunami wiping out Imelda's walk-in shoe closet leaving only a pair of hush-puppies and two shelves of seaweed.

So I started to read the article describing her pregnancy, and life as one of the world's most sought-after women in my perfek "lola" accent.--those who 'knew me when" will remember I used to do a KILLER filipino grandma impersonation. It still comes in handy when I need to shake things up a bit. or to prevent boredom...or to fain knowledge of the english language. Anywhooo, I guess one of the mexican guys didn't like it, because he snatched the issue out of my hand and screaMED MINE!!!!!MINE1111 MINE!!!!!!! So I screamed back. then a black lady said she was gonna call the cops and I decided to take a bus to nowhere.

I felt like Andy on Shawshank. Why was all this happening to me? When would I get MY life back? and why the hell do I keep having problems with mexicans everywhere I go???--Hell, this guy is probably illegal anyway....So why is it I'm the one on the bus, catching an outbound train in a second, as we pass countless SUV's somewhere in the middle of nowwwwhere, UTAH, USA?

I don't really have an explanation at this point. Maybe I was just in the way--like Andy. All i really know is I will have that beach house someday. And I'll go shopping at J.Crew or the Gap like all the other women my age. I may even make first counselor in the Relief Society--if I stay in the church that long. I just need to hold it together long enough while crawling through this 500-yard-long tunnel filled with @#$$%%......until I can make it out on the other side to the cleansing rain of freedom and the money to buy my own Vanity Fair Magazine where noone will be able to bother me as I read it outloud to my cat in my Lola's accent. (and afterwards, I'll sing that song--"Signs, Signs, Everywhere are signs--blockin through the scenery breakin my mind--------do this don't do that can't you read the SI---HINES)????---to my cat as I hold it in my arms and rock it back and forth screaming as loudly as I possibly can!